Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Growing in Grace

Hello friends, it been an eternity since I have posted. 

I can't apologize, because my time away from here was needed.

But, I can say that it feels good to be back.
Blogging is special to me, I know it's completely outdated and I break ALL the rules for a successful blogger. But, I also know that all of that is ok. The handful of people that DO read this blog, I'm VERY grateful for!


All of that said... Here is an update 😍

My sweet soldier had to have heart operation a little while ago. He is fully recovered and loving life to the fullest now! Praise God!!

Our adoption is moving right along, at the pace that God has designed. Gonna be totally honest here, I wish it was moving faster, but I trust that God has everything figured out.

This has been so hard. 14,000 is how much we need to be able to have our profile books shown to birth mothers. We've been applying for grants, and slashing personal costs where we can, but we've hardly budged . 
I'm so thankful for the friends that have contacted us about doing fundraisers on our behalf , and I'm grateful for how the Lord has worked on my heart during this waiting period! 
Anyone reading this, that would like to donate to our adoption can go to youcaring.com Operation Growing Paynes.


Fun fact, that I have found out with my own health problems lately..... My body will no longer allow gluten. Like not even a little bit. I went gluten free a bit ago to see if it would relieve some chronic pain in my stomach that I've been dealing with, and it seemed to be at least taking the edge off. Then I went to a women's retreat with our church, ate something that I didn't know contained gluten, and boy howdy!!! Was I in pain?!?!? It was awful . Thankfully there was a sweet lady in the group that eats gluten free and she was able to educate me on how to be able to live. Lol. Clearly, I have a ton to learn. It's going to be a long road, I can tell. But, at this point I am so desperate for something that works!
Speaking of the women's retreat.... What an incredible time!
The women at my church have so sweetly ministered to me! And you know what is funny about it? Not in the way that I've expected. There is something about the way they fellowship, and encourage that has just blessed me so much. It's almost as if they are so focused on Jesus that nothing else matters. My pastor's wife spoke about spending time with God daily at the women's retreat. She was so humble and gracious in the way that she urged us to grow in God's grace. I've grown so much at our new duty station. I love how God takes all my expectations and He does the complete opposite. We had a wonderful time together, I've never really gone to things like that with my church, but I'm glad I went this year. I'm glad I didn't miss out on some grace that I didn't know I so badly needed!


With the beginning of fall, I have done a TON of designing and sewing!!!

It makes my heart so happy!!
Annnnnddddd I'll soon be branching into QUILTING!!!! My SoldierMan got me a few quilting books and a quilting hoop. I'm so excited!!! I'll be working on a special quilt for the baby we are adopting!  Coming soon as well, there will be a special post about decorating your nursery on a very tiny budget!! I'm excited about the rustic Winnie the Pooh theme, and sharing all the details with you!

For now, here's a little taste of what I've been crafting together!
There will be individual posts on each project with a few ways of how I style them, soon. 
This glitter peplum top! 
This knit, striped, circle skirt!
This plaid blanket scarf!
This navy and cream skirt!
This red vest!

Can't wait to share these with yall! It's time to close for today, thank you to all our readers, yall are awesome and we LOVE sharing Our Messy Faith with you!!!

Monday, August 22, 2016

Learning to Unconditionally Love an Imperfect Body.

   Hello, All my Darling Lovelies.
 
     Today`s post isn't going to be the easiest for me to talk about, in fact its going to be very hard to    share these personal moments from my life. Why, you may ask, am I making the choice to share?  Because, for so long I've hidden in the shadows, filling my self with hate, pity, disgust and  tormenting my soul that I wasn't good enough to be healthy and happy with my body. Because, I  have broken those awful chains and hope that maybe someday, my story can help someone step into  the sun and let go of baggage, self hate and depression that they may be holding on to.
I had to learn how to first open my heart up and let Jesus love me, without trying to limit Him. So So SO not easy when you've been caught up in a selfish cycle of hating yourself!
and then through so much grace, slowly learn (still learning) how to love myself enough to take care of what I've been blessed with.

  I'll start with my back story, and share my journey so far (for it is far from over) and include a few things that helped me and motivated/inspired me to make a very needed change.

 Age 9 : I started my weight struggles at such a very young age and have never once in my life been healthy, at nine years old i remember being uncomfortable around other girls my age because i felt huge next to them. I wasn't in fact I was simply a little bit chubby, but in my young mind I was convinced I was ugly and no one would like the chubby girl. So, I became shy, quiet and kept to myself most of the time.

Age 13 : I got taller, evened out a bit and got some majorly womanly curves at the ripe old age of 12 1/2- 13so I was in much better spirits, even though I wasn't considered tiny I at least had a woman's body and didn't feel huge up near other girls. You think I'd be happy right? wrong, I still was uneasy around girls with the perfect body because I was what you would call soft and slightly squishy ( I've always had a belly due to poor eating choices) and was beginning to see my lower belly.

Age 16-17: I weighed 150-158 and looked good (not skinny but thinned out for once)! I felt good about myself I was more confident and outgoing and no-one could really see my stomach because I got good at sucking it in and hiding it with my skirt or pant. I wish I could have held on to that time in my life and just made my change then! 90% of my hurt and hate wouldn't have existed, and I would have started my adult life a healthy well balanced person. But, I didn't know any better and continued with my bad eating habits and lazy personality.

Age : 18-19: The weight gain was so quick (178-190)  I didn't take time to think or change, just pull back into my shell and try to eat my feelings away and lay on my bed as soon as I got home from work. You'd think that having the most amazing boyfriend in the world would make me get up and get moving. But, instead, I told myself he couldn't possibly love me, when I couldn't even love myself. I almost lost the most precious thing to me, because I was so consumed by this dark cloud hanging over my head. And  I filled my days with hating myself and being bitter because I was fat and didn't think I was worth anything at all.

Age 20-21: I've tried every fad diet and quick fix out there, only to have the weight come back with a vengeance. I did a month challenge with my parents and got myself down to 175 I was so proud and ecstatic, but, because it was just another quick fix for me ( i had trouble committing to change or for longer than a week or two) the weight came back and I weighed in at 193 on my wedding day (the pictures I've wanted to burn, but now choose to see them as part of my story). I truly I became pregnant a few months later and was so sick my weight went down to 180 and that's where I started my pregnancy journey. I didn't eat healthy, didn't think twice about exercising about weighed in at 198 when I had Oorah princess. Over this time I let my self hate and depression run rampage through my life, I was less than sweet to my husband (that darling man, is so full of grace and forgiveness and patience) ( I don't know where I would be today without the grace of God and my personal blessing Mr Oorah Love) and didn't give myself a fighting chance for when I was post baby. I fell into PPD really bad, it affected my health, well being and my poor family suffered because of my lack of being there, I was always right there, just a million miles away in my mind.... Feeling like I needed a change I started walking and trying to eat a healthy meal a day. and I slowly got myself to 183 but it didn't last! UNBELIEVABLE RIGHT? I'll tell you why though, because I was doing it for the wring reasons and didn't commit to a change.

 It's so very sad to see this vicious cycle again and again. But, then, one day I made a change, and this time it stuck, because I changed my heart first! Here is where it started.

 First I had to see that what I was doing was wrong!

Then I had to Forgive myself and let God have a hold of my heart and let Him love me, and teach my how to love myself and the body He has given me. Enough to take care of me, enough to set an example for my kid(s) and also be a better wife to my husband. I had to change in order to be a better wife and mom. and my heart did change.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's.

1 Corinthians 10:31

31 Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God 







Enter the present! last few months of 21- first few of 22 : Ashamed and self hate? NO MORE WHY?! because, God loved me enough to send His own son for me, so I can learn how to love myself enough to be happy healthy and active!!!! Instead I am, Loving myself enough to make healthier choices and focusing on the daily positives!
Lazy and always in bed? not anymore! instead, fully committed to a workout challenge and daily exercise on my own time. Time spent playing with baby, working on projects, keeping my house neat and tidy, and prepping our home for dinners and evenings spent as a family. I started my change four months ago at 198.6 almost 200lbs) I looked in the mirror and decided that I deserved to be happy, my body deserved to be healthy, my husband deserved a joyful, loving wife, my baby deserved an attentive and active mother! So I started small, I made changes in my diet and counted calories. I found my self a good routine to follow and added my own exercise to top it off. The difference is mind blowing to me. I'm nowhere near where I'm headed, but I am learning to love the journey. I weighed in this morning at 174.8 and have lost over 30 inches all over. Not quite to my halfway goal and there have been a few plateaus, but I'm not giving up! I am pressing forward and continuing on. I am more fit and healthy than I have ever been in my life. I started with a 15 min mile and have cut that down to 9 1/2 mins. I started with 1.lb weights and have worked my way up to 10lbs. I can hold 3, 1min planks and can see a huge change in my body. I am mentally and physically strong. I have dreams and goals. I know I will one day reach!
Our fridge is no longer filled with garbage, but, with healthy food. We don't starve or deprive our bodies, we chose instead to balance.! It's OK to have ice cream! it's OK to have a day off. but never ever ever give up!



Thanks for taking the time to read my story and  hope in some way you, yes you, can take this and start your own change!




I love you all so dearly,
Forever yours,
  Mrs Oorah.

Monday, August 1, 2016

Still Alive! *mrs oorah*

Hi guys, it's been quite awhile! But, good news, I'm back! Sweet pea is 14 months old and dear goodness has grown up way way way too fast! Just wanted to stop by and say I miss this, I miss blogging and sharing my heart so I'll be back tomorrow with a long long update on life and general happenings. Here is a picture of my bitty family! Love Mrs Oorah. 



Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Pinterest favorites ❤️

It has been stupid long since we have done a Pinterest post!

So without further delay...... Here are some of the things that we are so excited about.


As you know my sister and I are fall freaks, and I'm just drooling over all of the fall ideas for this year.

Clean eating crockpot recipes, and some not so clean 😜
My mouth is watering. The end.
Doesn't this look incredible!?!?
Yum breakfast.
Sooooooo good looking 😍
Basically healing in a bowl 
Get in my mouth ❤️


Andddd now for the fashion. Recently I've really been into vintage style hats and pants.
Ahem.
I'm not sure words are even necessary to describe how cute all this is. I mean check out those hairstyles. And those coats, and shoes, and pants!!! 

So, you can expect sometime in the near future , blog posts that have some of these elements in them. Ttyl, Love Mrs. Hooah

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Best hospital casserole ❤️

There is nothing better than a hot casserole when you have been to the hospital. Be it for surgery, be it for a baby, anything. A stay in a mostly white room with fluorescent lights, makes one crave their own bed that smells like lavender essential oil , binge watch Netflix, and eat heaping dishes of a comforting casserole.

Now, I LOVE to cook for folks. It's how I show I care, and how I minister. So when my friend called me and told me that she was in the hospital with her newborn baby girl, I got SO excited.
I actually made three freezer dishes. But, the one we took directly to the hospital for their dinner was such a big hit, I thought I would share it here.

I unfortunately did not get a picture of it. 
But, it's so incredible, I couldn't resist.

This is actually a kind of blend of two different casseroles , and I didn't / still have no clue what to call it.

Maybe ... Mrs.Hooah's hospital casserole. I dunno.

Regardless.

You want to start out with 3 chicken breasts. Cooked and shredded. Add one can of cream of chicken, and one cream of mushroom soup . Next, you will need 1/2 a pkg. of cream cheese softened. 1 small can of green chilies , and 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese. ( we prefer sharp).  Add 1/2 a tablespoon of onion and garlic powder, then salt and pepper to taste .Mix all of this together and spread in a disposable baking dish. Top with 2 tablespoons of cubed butter, and 1 pkg. crushed Ritz crackers. Cover and bake for 30 min. At 375. 
While the casserole is baking make about two cups of white rice.
Casserole is done when the top is golden brown and the filling is bubbling . Serve over white rice.

Enjoy!



In other news our last adoption Homestudy interview was yesterday!!!! We are getting SO close!!!
Of course as always we are trying to raise funds so we can bring our baby home!!!!
So go check us out on youcaring.com , and share it with everyone you know!

A donation of 5.00 will get a really pretty flower crown mailed to you! Also comes in children sizes.
https://www.youcaring.com/baby-payne-558787

Above is the link to our youcaring page! I hope you have an incredible day, and go bake a casserole!❤️❤️❤️❤️
Much Love, Mrs. Hooah